...they dream about other bloggers, apparently.
I don't normally share my dreams on my blog, but this one was so bizarre that I had to share. (Interpretations are welcome in the comments!)
In my dream, a friend of mine (I'll call her C), profgrrrrl, and I were at the pre-race area of some marathon. (Now, the funny thing about this is that profgrrrrl and C are both currently training for marathons in real life. I, of course, am not.) Apparently profgrrrrl and C were both planning on running this marathon, and it was clear that they expected me to run it, too. But neither of them had told me; they just told me to meet them at this particular place. I was a bit concerned about my lack of, well, any training at all, and of course in the dream I was just as pregnant as I am in real life. But I decided to give it a try.
The race organizers called everyone to the start line. On our way to the start line, C and I realized we still had our purses with us, so we went to find my mom, who promised to hold them for us. I wanted to take some things with me, like lip balm and my cell phone, but I realized I had no pockets, so I left everything with my mom. Profgrrrrl came with us. We were all set to head to the starting line when profgrrrrl started having problems with her outfit. She was wearing a plaid skirt, thick gray tights, and these flats with these huge ribbon ties---she said it was her "lucky running outfit"---and her shoes were untied. C and I tried to help her tie them, but they wouldn't tie correctly. The race organizer came over and tried to help. None of us could get her shoes tied. We tried to get her to put on a different pair of shoes, but she insisted that she could not run unless she wore those shoes. Meanwhile, the race had already started, and C started getting impatient. "If we don't get to the starting line soon, we'll be disqualified!" she said. I was torn; stay and help or go with C? Finally, just before we would have been disqualified, C and I decided to leave profgrrrrl and run the race. We barely made it, but the starting official (who was a colleague from my cohort) waved us on.
C and I started running. I could tell she was pissed, so I said "hey, I don't want to slow you down, so don't feel like you have to run with me." At which point she took off, without saying a word to me. So now here I am, running a marathon that I haven't done any training for, 7+ months pregnant, all by myself!
I decided to just keep running, and see how far I could go. I was running pretty slowly, but at a consistent pace, and I was surprised by how easy it felt. I didn't feel tired, even when I was running up stairs or on a hill. I didn't feel sore. I just ran. 5 miles passed, then 10, and I still kept going, slowly and steadily plugging away. I felt confident and relaxed, just willing to see how far I could go.
I don't know if I finished the marathon or not, because I woke up at Mile 12 or so. I'd like to think that I did.
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4 comments:
The materials for my childbirth class (Bradley) keep referring to preparing for labor as being like training for a marathon (I prefer the learning to swim analogy myself, since I already know how to swim, but am not a runner).
luolin, that was Mr. Jane's interpretation of my dream, too---that the whole pregnancy/birth process is like running a marathon. (or swimming the English Channel, maybe, for a swimming analogy?)
Hm. I wonder what Carl Jung would say? How about this? It could be that your dream was about the marathon of obtaining tenure and the reason for the other female runner was because you were there to help one another; hence, the reason for trying to help her tie her shoes. And the reason you woke up before finishing the marathon is because the tenure run is not yet finished. How about that? OK, well, you know, I tried. Did my best. It has to count for something.
A marathon is a journey that takes tremendous effort, planning and training; you strike me as the type of person who has a life plan. I'd say that subconscously you feel your life is going as planned as you can keep it despite the distractions (your friend's shoes), and relationships, and things you can't control. Of course you didn't see the end- you are less than half-way there! Despite some of the things that you are concerned about, you are finding it a bit easier and more barrier-free than you expected.
You sound like a happy person, and I really enjoyed reading your blog.
Buy that kid some big Legos and a bald doll.
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