I am at my wit's end and I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure if there's anything I can do that won't earn me the label of "shrill overreacting woman" or, worse, "not a team player". But I do know one thing:
I am sick and tired of being ignored in department meetings! Or in any departmental discussion, for that matter.
Being ignored takes many forms. There's the classic one: I say something that gets roundly ignored; someone else says the same thing 10 minutes later and is roundly praised. There's the not-so-subtle one: several colleagues have loud and prolonged discussions about departmental issues that they *know* I'm interested in, yet don't invite me to participate and/or minimize my ideas when I do express them, casually and in passing. There's the even less subtle one: I tell my colleague that I have a great idea about X, only to find out later that the colleague has passed off X as his own great idea.
And then there's the worst one: [note: original story deleted; after posting it, I had second thoughts as to whether the details would be too revelatory. Suffice it to say that it involved someone speaking over me as if I wasn't even there.] I was so appalled that I didn't say anything; in retrospect, I'm not sure if there's anything I could have said that would have helped.
I know that this happens to a lot of women, and I do have strategies for dealing with some of it. I don't share ideas with Idea-Stealing Colleague anymore. When someone else gets praised for a statement I made earlier, I thank the person for building on my idea (or something similar to remind the group where the idea came from originally). I try to drop subtle and not-so-subtle hints to Loud Discussion Colleagues that I'm interested in the subject too (or I close my door). I talk to Department Mentor sometimes about the issue, and when he's around sometimes things will improve. Unfortunately, he's not been around lately, and particularly not during the most egregious of these examples. But there's only so much I can do.
I can't help feeling marginalized. This is happening more and more frequently lately. Part of me wonders how my colleagues can collectively be so thick-headed to not realize how poorly they are treating me, and how little respect their actions show for me. And this is definitely not just a junior faculty thing, because my newer, more junior colleague gets shown a lot more deference than I am in these situations. Do they not realize that this ultimately hurts department morale? That having one colleague who feels unheard does not lead to a good working environment? And why is it that they think I have nothing worthwhile to say? Because even if that's not what they mean, that's what their actions say, loud and clear.
If anyone has suggestions, short of drop-kicking my colleagues out the nearest window, I'd love to hear them.