So as you can tell, I took a bit of an unexpected break from the blog. I've really been struggling lately (more on that in a minute). I haven't had much time to blog at work (not even over lunch!), and the last thing I've felt like doing by the time I get home in the evening is turning on the computer. Plus, I'm totally hooked on the Tour de France, which is really eating into my evening computer time.
I really feel like I've been spinning my wheels lately. I'm getting a little work done, which is nice, but at the same time there are a ton of things that are frustrating me, work-wise. I haven't been very good about setting personal boundaries lately, and it's really hurt my own productivity. Sure, there's positive karma in helping out others, but the bottom line is being so "helpful" is not going to help my tenure case. I know this, yet I keep conveniently forgetting it....and then I just become frustrated and angry with myself for not putting myself and my own work needs first. I now know why most of my colleagues "hide" during the summer; if you're not around, then no one can bug you with the mundane questions and minor crises that arise day-to-day during the summer. Because I'm around, and I'm one of the only people around, I get tagged with this stuff. And I really need to remember how to say "no" again.
I think that's part of why I come home not wanting to play around on my computer, which is very unusual for me: I'm just so damn frustrated and exhausted by the end of the day. The good news though is that I'm spending more time on creative pursuits, sometimes while watching the Tour and sometimes when I've had enough of the Tour. Perhaps I'm hoping that being creative will refresh and rejuvenate me.
So, the goal for this week, besides making headway on my projects, is to set firmer boundaries, to remember that the summer is time for me, and that the world will not end if I don't say "yes", no matter how nicely I'm asked or how "urgent" the problem is.